A friend took me to see Soul Surfer this weekend. There was a scene in the movie where Carrie Underwood is showing slides to a group of teens and they had to guess what the picture was magnified. Of course you couldn't tell but when she zoomed out you could see exactly what the image was because you had the "whole picture". She talks about how when we are faced with challenges we can't really see the "whole picture" but God knows knows the "whole picture" and he has a plan for us. This scene in the movie really hit home for me. It's hard to understand what could possibly be the "whole picture" for us.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3: 5-6
As I look back over the past 6 months, I wonder how in the world were we able to pay all our bills. We lost Eric's income due to his disability and my wages were greatly reduced. If I put it all on paper, we shouldn't have made it financially, but we did. How is that possible? It is truly by the grace of God that we were able to do so.
This past week we had new challenges arise, Eric's cancer has returned with a vengeance and I am no longer employed. I became overwhelmed, depressed and wondering how are we going to get through this... I felt as if I had lost hope and faith and became broken and had myself a pitty party, then I realized the next day that wasn't going to get us anywhere and I remember a post that a friend put on Facebook, "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.".
Before I understood God and His grace, I was a very broken person. Several years ago before I met Eric I went through one of the most difficult times in my life. I was very depressed and feeling suicidal. I felt like I had no hope and I was lost. I didn't know that I could ask God for help and the peace that I could feel knowing he was there to carry me. I was weak... Then I met Eric and he told me about God's grace. I can't tell you the feeling that came over me when I learned that I could ask for God's help and the peace I felt as He took my worries from me.
So I may not understand what the big picture is for us, but I rest in peace knowing that God will get me through it. If you are going through turmoil in your life and feel hopeless, ask God to take that worry from you and to give you a feeling of peace.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
This doesn't mean that I still don't have difficult times. I still cry, but in the end I know that I can make it through this because God is there to carry me. He will carry you too. All you have to do is ask.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13